the love-hate of songwriting

I'm in the middle of FINALLY putting together another recording. It's only 5-songs, but it's something I can give to friends and family for Christmas.

Songwriting and recording is an amazing and horrible rollercoaster for me. There are times when I really honestly feel like a particular song I've written and recorded is quality . There are other times when (to me) the music sounds like amateurish garbage and I feel like I shouldn't even bother. Oh - and it can be the same song. Yesterday I thought it sounded GREAT, today I think it's crap - or vice versa. The truth inevitably lies somewhere in between.

There are levels of it too.

• [The song itself is great] vs. [the song is really sub-par]
• [The vocals are good] vs. [the vocals are oversung here and there, the vocal line is so-so]
• [The guitar or bass line or solo riff sound really good] vs. [the bass line is completely out]
• [All the elements fit together] vs. [the elements are all over the place]

I think what I really need is a computer program that will analyze my song and give me completely unbiased and specific feedback about my whole project. Something that will analyze the quality of my song, how well the elements fit together, the quality of each individual piece, and what I should do to improve it all.

Does that exist??

It should.

Eight Random Facts

Currently Listening Much By Ten Shekel Shirt see related

is it about the music?

I'm in Toronto for a few days and I've spent a lot of time walking around and thinking.  It is quite a beautiful and multicultural city.   Lots of green-space, artsy-areas, markets, street performers….  it's great.

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I usually have a few worship-questions that percolate around my brain while I walk.  Here is the one I've been trying to tackle... and maybe I've gotten somewhere...

"What is it about worship music that makes it so special???"

I've always had an affinity for worship MUSIC - as far back as I can remember.  I can recall going to church in 1990 and loving the likes of "King of Kings and Lord of Lords (GLORY! ALLELUJAH!)"; "Good is good!  We sing and shout it!  God is good! We know it's true..."; (and of course) "Shine Jesus Shine"

Some of the most personal experiences, healing experiences, joyful experiences, confidence building experiences and empowering experiences I've had with our Maker have been either in corporate or personal musical worship times.  I know this is true for a lot of us.   

But WHY???  What is it about MUSIC that makes it soooo special and such a connecting experience?

If we just took all the words of the 7 or 8 songs that we normally sing on a Sunday and read them aloud together one week INSTEAD of singing them they just wouldn't have the same "effect".  I don’t think we would have the same reactions as we do when in good corporate or personal worship.

Why not???  It would be the same words.;  the same community; the same God.  Why shouldn’t it be the SAME EXPERIENCE? 

Is there something special about music itself???

My thought on this: no

It has to do with US and not the words.

Wait – I know what you’re thinking: “But I thought there was nothing we could do to invoke God’s presence…”

That is true.  100%/.  But we control how earnestly we approach God.  Music – or prayer set to music - seems to bring out the intensity of what we want to say.  It brings out emotion.  We tend to wear our hearts and souls on our sleeves before each other, and more importantly before Him.

What would happen if we couldn’t sing?  What would happen if we chose not to sing together or in private?  Would we lose out on God?  Would we lose out on those emotionally intense, wonderful, enriching, real, experiences of feeling Him?  Would we be destined to grow away from Him?

No

What if instead we took corporate and personal prayer to the SAME intensity that we worshiped with.  What if we took the same kind of time we normally take in worship music, but left our music at the door and repeated our prayers over and over with all intensity and passion we sing with and reflect on all that we were saying. 

What if we prayed over and over “here I am… at Your feet… in my brokenness complete…” and really POURED OURSELVES INTO IT WITH THE PASSION, COMMITMENT AND HEART THAT WE PUT INTO CORPORATE WORSHIP.

He would be there and we would know it.  We would cry, we would dance, we would laugh and rejoice. 

You don’t believe me?  Try it.

Currently Listening Beyond Measure By Jeremy Camp see related

Jehovah-Jireh

I always feel like I have to post something deep and meaningful on blogs.  I feel like any readership I have is either so intimately connected with my life that they either know what it going on, OR the people who are less connected (various family members for example) just don't read the blog.  That's cool.  I'm not jaded.  Really, I'm not.  It just leaves me at a bit of a quandary as to what to post about.

One year ago this week I moved to Montreal.  It's been AN ENTIRE YEAR.  Crazy.  This week will mark an entire complete year that I have been involved in worship at Impact.  There have been some great highs, and a few confusing lows.  Ultimately it has been a phenomenal experience.  I've worshiped with over 20 different people this year; I've been humbled by being encouraged and allowed to contributed original worship songs for congregate worship; I've been led to tears; I've been filled with Holy pride; I've been broken; I've been healed; I've learned more about being a worshiper of the King this year than I have in the entirety of my life before this year.

What do I lack that He has not provided?!?  My Heavenly Father has provided beyond my wildest imagination.  He knew my needs better than I.  He knew the things that I needed to healing and for wholeness.  He knew the things I needed to satisfy my hunger.  He knew the things I needed to remove my pride.  He has been Jehovah Jireh this year.

Praise God from Whom all blessings flow!!!!

[This is the worship team I served on this year...God worked incredible things through them.  They were an amazing instrument of His love.]

Currently Listening Simply Nothing By Shawn McDonald see related

Sometimes life gets busy to the point where bloggings tends to fall by the wayside.  Life just gets in the way of talking about life.  Don't get me wrong; I'm not a grizzly old veteran blogger who understands the ins and outs of blogging seasons.  I'm not, and I don't.  All I'm trying to say is that it has been a busy month.  Sheesh.

Where to begin?

Hey, do you ever have those blogs where you write like 4 pages worth of stuff only to realize that it's mostly garbage and delete it all?  I just did that.

I'll try to sum it all up... here's what I've been up to over the past 2 weeks:

Mainingin a minimal level of forestry research, meetings with my supervisor, grading ecology exams, grading plant and animal physiology exams, supervising a Biology exam, supervising Law exams, weekly church leadership meetings, worship meetings, planning the summer worship schedule, being a part of my house small-group, planning a summer worship small-group, meeting with a teaching-fellowship I'm a part of, trying to be social at work/school and church, planning summer research, flying to Edmonton for three days of meetings, trying to maintain my grounding in the Word and in Him, striving to be a man of honor and integrity in all my friendships, in my relationship and at work, and... hmmmmmm.... I think that just about sums up the last two weeks.  Blogging becomes optional. No?

The two busiest months for me (I think) are April and September.  The PhD-side of things doesn't REALLY change that much.  April and September seem to be busy church months though.  In September we're recruiting people for worship teams, setting up small groups, and starting off our church year.  In April it's much the same, only on a smaller scale (but with less help) for the summer.

I feel pretty good about this blog.  It was short.  I don't think people like to read long blogs.  Well, more to the point **I** don't like to read long blogs.